I have never felt this before, this feeling of dread and finality. Of fear. And Hope. Regret.
"Seeking a Friend" did exactly what it meant to do: it made me confront the end and examine the now. I felt the dread of the oncoming apocalypse. I yearned for the meaning that everyone was searching for. I felt the loneliness and togetherness of singlehood and family. I laughed at the weird things humans do, and shook my head in disappointment at the despicable ones. I felt, in those final moments, so many emotions that I'm having a hard time seperating one from the other. I will never forget, I think, the final frame of that movie.
And it wasn't even that great of a movie, but it made me think. Hard.
Firstly it proved that in the end, timing is everything.
Secondly it made me wonder what I would do if I knew I was going to die in a month. Who would I track down? Who would I apologize to? Who would I want to be with? What would I do with my time? What pursuits would I continue and which would I discard?
And then finally I wondered what it would be like if I thought I was going to die, and then turned out I wasn't going to. There is a fundamental shift in follow-through between those two philosophies. Truly living like today is your last day... Almost impossible, I think. Unless you wouldn't change anything from how you currently live. I guess what almost matters more than the WHAT you would do is the WHY.
Well the first movie of the day is down and it's only five in the morning. Bring on Les Mis, s'il vous plaît.